“Pain” is the harrowing adjective one needs to become familiar with when learning to snowboard. In fact its ridiculous how much pain you can endure over and over again purely to get yourself the “hell off this hill!”
Unfortunately, unlike childbirth, your body does not mercifully release a happy hormone that erases or at least numbs the memories of the excruciating and humiliating act that is your first ever snowboarding lesson. Oh no, the memory lives on and only becomes more vivid as you watch what can only be described as new borns whizzing past you down the slopes and chopping powder (whatever that may mean) whilst you as a thirty something look on dejectedly in awe and lets face it annoyance and total envy!!!
Yes, those first thoughts of you looking cool on the slopes, fully kitted out in this seasons latest snowboard gear, fast get replaced with thoughts of simply getting down the slope in one piece – cool is erased from your vocabularly and instead replaced with phrases that are more careful than carefree – such as safe, patience, ouch!
Which brings me to my next point…..learning to snowboard not only equates to learning a new sport but also to a whole new language!! As if turning was not complicated enough (the whole body weight stuff, oh and the fear of falling down the mountain and off the edge of the earth) there are also an array of terms to accompany it and confuse the hell out of you. Whats more, before you even get to the turning stage you have to try and work out the unfathomable that is whether you are “Regular” or instead take after a Disney Character!
However, despite all the toe curling pain reminiscent of childhood falls (great and unforgettable), the humiliation of your feet not doing what your brain is telling them to do and lets face it the pure unadulterated exhaustion of picking yourself up off your bum all day, you still go back for more. That’s right despite all the pitfalls of learning to ride like a pro, the pure exhilleration that surges through your broken body at the tiniest glimpse that you just may get the hang of this incredibly cool and fun sport keeps you going back for more! Therefore, my advice to you all out there baring with and getting through one gruelling day up the hill after another is bare with it as i’m told any day now it’s all gonna click into place!!
For the best snowboard and ski accommodation to ease your pains after a hard day up the hill, please visit:
http://www.independentmountain.com/resorts/all/accommodation/all
absolutely genius! Just added you to my feed reader. Was searching for “snowboard” when I found “g to Snowboard – A Right Old Pain in the Ass! at Independent Mountain”. Sorry I’m late adding this.
Just picked up on this, I hope your happy hormones managed to kick in. I’d suggest an snowboard lesson or two. That’ll take away the pain and increase your gain.